8 tips for planning a wedding with CRPS

In this article we'll cover everything you need to know about planning your wedding if you or your partner suffers with CRPS, from things to consider when looking for the right venue, to minimising stress in the lead-up to the big day.

Planning your dream wedding while living with CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) or another chronic pain condition can feel overwhelming – or perhaps your partner or someone you care for has the condition – but you can have your perfect big day without compromising your health or theirs. Here are 8 top tips to help you plan your wedding with ease.

Prioritise your health and enjoy your day in a way that works for you

Timing is everything. When you’ve just got engaged, you might feel excited and want to get married quickly. But, depending on how big you want your wedding to be, it might be best to give yourself a bit more time to plan everything. This can make things less stressful and stop you from getting too tired.

Break down tasks month-by-month, and don’t give yourself too much to do. Remember to also look after yourself when planning your big day. Think about how different seasons affect your symptoms. A summer or early autumn wedding might be better for you, especially if cold weather triggers flare-ups, even if you always pictured a winter wedding.

When planning any big event, it’s important to manage your anxiety and take time to de-stress. Volunteer counsellor for Burning Nights CRPS Support, Julie Robinson, shares some top tips for managing stress in the build-up:

1. Take a pause – step away from the doing and busy-ness to simply ‘be’ for a few moments. When we take a pause from doing, and organising, we create a bit of space for the mind to settle. This way when we return to what we were doing, we can do so with more clarity.

2. Remember to breathe – When we are rushing or anxious, our breathing can become shallow. This can agitate the nervous system making us feel jittery and ungrounded. A simple tip is to imagine your lungs are in your lower abdomen. Aim to gently draw your breath lower down into the abdomen. Maybe take a few deeper breaths in through your nose and sigh the breath out through the mouth. Sigh the stress away.

3. Turn towards kindness and care – Take a moment to offer yourself a few nurturing words. You’re doing a great job. Maybe rest a hand gently on your heart and send yourself some love and kindness, “May I be happy, calm and peaceful”. Choose words with meaning for you.

If you have family and friends who are willing to help you, then delegate some of your tasks to reduce stress and fatigue. But don’t forget that it’s still your big day! It may not feel natural if you’re used to managing everything yourself, but remember you only have so much energy. Use the Spoon Theory to make sure you are pacing and not doing too much. Check out our article on pacing to help get you started. 

Perhaps a family member could organise flowers or wedding favours, or help you find a photographer.

Consider any DIY decorations carefully – you might be tempted to make your own flower crowns or table decorations but think about how much time and energy this will take and whether that adds unnecessary stress. Etsy is a great place to buy homemade personal touches that you don’t have to make.

Be kind to yourself – ask for help (even if you think you don’t need it) and prioritise your health. Stress has a big impact on pain. Take a look at our 6 top tips to manage stress. 

Consider asking one or two friends to check in with you regularly throughout the day and ensure that you have everything you need – that you are drinking and eating snacks, have a chair or somewhere to sit and get you your medication.

Schedule plenty of breaks during your wedding day. Consider:

• Getting married later in the day if your symptoms are worse in the morning
• Planning a shorter event, like an afternoon ceremony followed by a meal
• Being clear on your invites about when you’ll leave the celebration

Newlyweds often leave early, while guests carry on the celebrations. If you want to leave at 6pm or even have the ceremony and reception a week apart giving you time to rest in between, go for it! Prioritise your health and enjoy your day in a way that works for you.

When it comes to your wedding dress or outfit for the big day, comfort is key! Consider how clothes have an effect on you when deciding on your outfit.

Go for clothing that is light, allows for plenty of movement and ensure it can be altered to accommodate any mobility aids. Make sure you can move, sit down and/or lie down in your outfit.

The fabric is important too – you may have sensitivities as part of your condition so  find some fabrics irritating. When making your appointment to try on outfits, it’s worth calling ahead and letting them know which fabrics are suitable and they can pick some out for you.

CRPS may make you very sensitive to touch too. Don’t be afraid to tell the shop that, so they can make the process as comfortable as possible for you. If you’re looking for inspiration, Pinterest is a fantastic resource for outfit inspiration.

Tips for outfit shopping with CRPS:

• Let the shop know about your sensitivities and preferred fabrics ahead of time
• Schedule fittings at a time of day when your symptoms are typically more manageable
• Ask the shop if you can have a longer fitting appointment, giving you the time and space to work around the sensitivities of your condition
• Don’t feel pressured to wear a traditional outfit – there is a great range of alternatives that may suit your comfort needs better
• When choosing your outfit do think about any disability aids that you may be using on the big day and how they may have an effect on your outfit
• If you need your outfit altered, make sure to let the seamstress know about any sensitivities you have, as they tend to use a lot of pins when making alterations

The venue is so important as it’s not just the setting for your big day, but probably the biggest expense. There are lots of things to consider, so make sure you take your time to look around.

Look for venues that:

• Are step-free or wheelchair accessible
• Have accessible toilets and plenty of space for mobility aids
• Offer nearby parking for easy arrival
• Have quiet areas where you can go to if things start to get overwhelming or you just need to rest for a while
• You may want to go for a venue that provides an all-inclusive package (catering, decorations, entertainment, and even an on-site planner) to reduce stress and help everything run smoothly on the day
• Consider venues with accommodation so not only do you not have to travel at the end of the day, but you also have a private space to rest during the day if needed

Remember it’s your day, so take as much time to rest as you need. Your guests will be too busy having fun to notice you’re missing for a few minutes.

When booking your supplier, tell them about your condition and any worries about how it might impact your wedding. They can then consider these when planning your day, whether it’s your photographer giving you a break in between photos or your venue ensuring that there are handrails or ramps where needed. Remember people like your hair and makeup artist – tell them about your condition including any symptoms that may impact on having your hair and makeup done.

If they do not seem to be taking your needs into account or are dismissive about your condition, don’t use them. There are plenty of suppliers that are open and inclusive.

You might be thinking about taking out insurance in case of illness on the day but standard wedding insurance doesn’t generally cover pre-existing conditions. So while it may be worth getting insurance to cover things like the venue cancelling or a supplier letting you down, if you’re unwell on the day due to your CRPS, standard insurance will unfortunately not cover that.

You might be able to find an insurer that covers pre-existing conditions, but it could be expensive. If you don’t want to pay out, have a plan B ready and make sure everyone involved in the wedding knows what that is – it could be moving the ceremony to later in the day or you might miss the reception and have a party later in the year. Hopefully you won’t need to but just having that plan there will ease your mind.

An emergency kit is a must! As well as essentials like lipstick and tissues, remember to pack anything that you may need during the day. Items such as:

• Your regular medicine
• Flat shoes or flip flops
• Handheld fan
• Cooling or heat pads
• Face/hand wipes
• Tissues
• Hydration/electrolyte drinks and snacks 
• Ear plugs to help with any sensory issues and to minimise overstimulation during the day
• Any mobility aids

We hope these tips will help you plan your wedding and reduce stress. Enjoy your day and be kind to yourself, rest as much as you need to and remember it’s about celebrating your love.

Weddings are a great opportunity to raise funds for your chosen charity too. If you’d like to raise money for Burning Nights CRPS Support and include us as your wedding charity, asking guests to donate rather than give gifts is a lovely personal touch and, of course, it helps raise awareness and funds for our support services. You could always purchase our enamel badges as wedding favours. Do contact us if you’d like to do this. Find out more here.

If you haven’t already, join our online community to see if others with CRPS have tips for the big day.